Dear So and So....*UPDATE*

 Friday, August 14, 2009

To my offspring,
Thank you for trying to “toughen” up Baby Parker, but it really is not your job. We can leave that to his dad.
Love your Mama

To my bundle of energy,
Did you really find it necessary to CLOTHES LINE Baby Parker at the baby shower? (That is not how a lady behaves in public) BTW-You will never compete in the WWF.
Love your Number one fan, Mom

To my co-conspirator,
Just because you and JB look so cute together does not excuse the fact that you both tried to push baby Parker into the fireplace. Thank goodness he did not crack his skull on the brick.
Please stop it, Mama

Dear WW (Wild Woman),
Seriously don’t you think Baby Parker has had enough of your shenanigans? Why did you find it necessary to shove Baby Parker in the back as he walked away?
Dangerously close to losing my cool, Mommy

Dear coworker,
Just because you make more money than me, does not automatically mean that I am your cleaning lady. You can change the toilet paper and paper towel rolls in the restroom if you take the last piece.
Thanks for exhibiting common decency, K

Dear radio station DJs,
Why do you pick the exact moment that I get into the shower to cut to commercial for 10 minutes?
About to change the station, K

Dear LPM,
You only raised tuition $5, but that equals out to $260.00 a year! So now tuition cost us $180.00 *a week* a month. Oh, you added the cost because of the web cams-NEWS FLASH-they have not been working for 2 weeks.
Close to living under a bridge, K

Dear DirecTV,
Thanks for giving us a break. You are SO much better than CHARTER.
Loyal and satisfied customer, K

Dear early riser,
You cannot be my child if you think it is Okay to get up at 5:15AM-every morning!! When you were in our bed you slept until at least 7:00.
What gives? Mom

Dear Dora and Diego creators,
Can you interject some subliminal messages to my daughter about using the potty. You are the only ones she'll listen to right now.
Thanks, K

Go check out everyone else's letters! Go here.
Thanks for caring,
K

8 comments:

bigmamacass August 14, 2009 at 11:54 AM  

HAHAHA!! those were great!!!

Heather August 14, 2009 at 1:03 PM  

Loved this! So funny!!

Sera August 14, 2009 at 1:05 PM  

I loved this post! You crack me up!

Anonymous,  August 14, 2009 at 2:41 PM  

Good list ..LPM IS NOW 180 A WEEK EVEN WORSE..

Molly August 14, 2009 at 11:11 PM  

You are so funny! Great post.

LazyCrazyMama August 17, 2009 at 3:17 PM  

Love it! And so with you on the Dora bit - seriously!!

kottagekara August 19, 2009 at 9:50 AM  

you are so funny and a great creative writer...loved this post.

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